When I first started blogging, I had a lot of traffic coming to my sites and it got overwhelming. People started expecting things from me, the one on one interactions with people although I quite enjoy it, it just became too much for me, so I apologized and told everyone I was too busy and shut them down. Now I’ve got a second wind and am trying to re-instate myself with the public. My wife is here helping me answer some questions as well as being a part of some of my blogs. All of my hobbies, interests and responsibilities are kind of all in one place so everything flows a lot more naturally now. I will re-iterate now that if anyone has any questions or are looking for advice, definitely contact us.
What are the most common troubles and milestones new parents run into?
Well, usually it’s a mental state of depression, thinking your unworthy of being a parent or worrying your child is going to be abnormal. The answer is: JUST CHILL! You’re definitely worthy, otherwise you wouldn’t be on here looking for help with your children, you would be off not caring. If your child is abnormal in any way, do you not believe it is selfish to worry about something like that? Cause honestly it is. Whether they’re born male, female, gay, straight, tall, short, midget, emo, brown hair, blonde hair, red hair, pink hair, purple hair, purple skin, dog-like, there’s nothing wrong, at all. My 15 year old nephew just announced he was gay about 3 months ago, and my brother hummed and hawed for 15 years because he felt like that was coming. He was depressed, anxious, worried, then it actually happened and he felt a kind of relief, because all that unnecessary negativity was relieved. Guess what, he’s a happy teenager, his 15 year old friends are accepting and still hang out with him, my brother and his wife are happy, everything is fine.
- Another common common issue I find: Jealousy
That perfect little angel that is going to grow up a straight A student, never talks back, doesn’t cry in public, all those perfect things that 99% of parents don’t experience. Often parents will look at that situation and then start building a list of all the things they’ve done wrong, or they try to imagine what that parent did right. Truth is all those perfect parents out there run into the same issues as you do, they’ve just learned how to handle the situation properly. One of the biggest ones is tantrums, you must remain aware, and be firm when explaining to them that they are not acceptable; yet apply patience at all times. The reality of the situation is, all kids are going to try to get what they want, and they will only learn by you being stern. If your kid is throwing a tantrum, kicking and screaming and rolling around on the floor, don’t give in, simply fight through the painful moment and threaten to leave if they don’t behave, and if they don’t behave actually follow through, that’s how they learn.
- Family gatherings
It can be tough when your child whines and cries the whole time your visiting your siblings while your siblings child is the center of attention, happy, and socializing. This once again is all on you and you are being too self conscious about your relatives opinions. Your child will never be perfect and there’s no reason they should be any better at a family gathering than at home with you.
- Mealtime etiquette
Lots of parents wonder why their best friends daughter eats all her food properly just like you while your child will just eat a couple bites, go off and play and be hungry again in 45 minutes. As there is not necessarily a proper mealtime etiquette it is important to establish your ground rules and stick to them. My system is to let them take as much as they want for dinner, but they aren’t leaving the table until it’s finished. They are also limited to a maximum of 1 snack per night after dinner.
- Toilet Training
This is a milestone every parent has to go through. This is definitely a task that requires a little more effort than the top issues, however same principle. Don’t stress about it, the sky isn’t falling if they don’t get it right away, and just be consistent. I do recommend reading a book or a few articles on the internet for this one, cause it is a job and a half sometimes.
There is a common theme in my recommendations for these issues: Don’t worry too much, be stern and be consistent, and don’t worry about what other people think. Honestly I do believe the biggest problem parents have is that they over worry and stress themselves out, which overtime their performance of parenting is hindered because their focus is overridden by frustration and agony. I want to say if you’re on my blog, looking for direction with your child you are most likely doing great and you care about your children enough to do some research, so get back in the game! take them out for walks, keep them active. You are always going to run into problems, overcoming these issues is what parenting’s all about.
That’s all for today! I hope I can help someone out there, whether you let me know or not, I am always happy to influence those around me in a positive way.